Comic for Wednesday, October 22nd

Dec23

by PastUtopia on December 23, 2014 at 10:09 pm

Chapter: Chapter 0

Location: Far Side of Utopia

Update updated 1-4-2016; view original page here.

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Discussion (7) ¬

Moose Breath

August 8, 2016, 8:47 pm | # | Reply

Nit picky stuff. If I.D.S is supposed to stand for three words, there should be a period after “S”. Conversely, if I.D.S is a plural of I.D., then the last panel should be “are shirking”. It’s hard to tell in all caps lettering. In Tyler’s first word bubble (panel 3?), there should be a comma in front of “Amy”, unless he wants to know if she really is “thinking Amy”, where “Amy” is a way of thinking.
- PastUtopia
  
  August 9, 2016, 12:22 am | # | Reply
  
  Thanks for the corrections! Fixed them both.
  
  IDS is indeed three words, but I know that I leave the trailing period off there a lot. It’s something I’ll keep an eye out for, and updated here, but probably not viable to go through and update everything for currently 😉
  
  Originally I did it as IDS without the periods, but it was quite unclear in the all caps font, so there has been a few iterations since then of how to write it. I.D.S. with all the periods looks weird, but you are correct that it is the correct way to write it.
Galadan

August 10, 2015, 11:17 am | # | Reply

Errors on this page:

* panel five: “corporation”, “transdimensional”, and choose one of “tells” and “gives”

* panel six: “it’s”
- PastUtopia
  
  August 10, 2015, 2:55 pm | # | Reply
  
  Corrections made! Once again thank you very much for the comment and corrections 😉
Marscaleb

March 4, 2015, 4:47 am | # | Reply

You’ve got a really bad read-order on this page. The natural response is to read “What do you mean” in panel 3 before anything in panel 4. Don’t have dialogue cross panels like that. When you move onto a new panel the old panels are over, don’t call back to them like that. And extending that bubble into the last panel makes it even more confusing about when that line is supposed to take place. If you cross a bubble into another panel, like that, it can only work if its the immediately next panel. Make it its own bubble and signify that it is someone off-screen speaking by having the tail point off-panel, or have the tail go inside the balloon, or have no tail at all, or draw a little picture of the speaker inside the balloon. Pick a method you like and stick with that.
- PastUtopia
  
  March 4, 2015, 5:04 am | # | Reply
  
  Hi again! Thanks for the feedback 🙂
  
  I agree with you on all points! Unfortunately I think this page would probably need more extensive surgery to be ready for duty (as the words don’t really fit where they are supposed to go), and thus is a sort of embarrassing relic for the time being until I can afford a real overhaul of some of these older pages. Perhaps I’ll give it a shot to at least try and improve it, unfortunately these pages as easy to modify as the newer ones (I have to retype set the whole page and hope I wasn’t using bubbles to cover stuff I didn’t feel like drawing… past me was sort of lazy bastard sometimes…)
  
  That said, its good feedback! In these early days I would draw before type setting, and in some cases just ran out of room for bubbles and had to make increasingly awkward maneuvers to get it in there – I still have a lot to learn about panel flow and bubble placement, so even if I don’t redo this panel now, the feedback is still quite helpful!
  
  I in particular like the idea of drawing a little picture of the speaker inside the balloon, and I think I’ll try that out! I struggle a few times later on how to handle that situation, and I think that’s a really good one with a lot of potential, especially since it would allow to convey little character-based-emoticons that could be both helpful and entertaining 🙂
- PastUtopia
  
  January 4, 2016, 10:55 pm | # | Reply
  
  Well, sometimes it bares the question if better late-than-never still applies, but I hope that updated page fixes some of the concerns! I still have many bubbling improvements to learn, but at least I think it’s markedly improved.
  
  For future generations of comment readers, to see the travesty to which the above comment refers, the original page is linked in the page commentary! 😉